I begin this post with one of my favorite photos I called Pretty Girls.
I have been off line as of late, simply because I have not felt like writing anything. See, we had a loss of a family member last week. Spotty, the PTHF official supreme snoopervisor. Ever the cattle dog, Spotty kept watch of the farm, its people, and of all the comings and goings-on. She had a full, well-loved life with my husband, and I felt fortunate that she accepted me into her tight clan. She was quiet, stern, but you felt her presence. We can still feel her presence. Buried on our favorite point – the crest of our finest ridge overlooking the valley west, Spotty maintains her guard. We can feel the morning’s sunrise on our backs when we are with her. In the evenings, we watch the sunset with her. She whispers with the winds in the tall grasses. She keeps watch of our pastures, house, drive and garden. She belongs at the farm. She was happiest on the farm.
It is an amazing thing how an animal can warm your heart and soul. They are all so different in their manners. My girl, Radley, was gentle, cuddly, contact-craving. Spotty was the sentinel, the librarian. She liked order and calm. They definitely become a part of you especially when you realize a good portion of your life has been with them. Radley was over 15 years. Spotty was over 16 years. In a way, they define you. That makes the loss of them that much harder. You have to figure out who you are now that that constant companion isn’t right behind you, beside you. There isn’t much you can do or say. It does seem true that as time passes, dealing with a loss gets more tolerable. It isn’t instant, though.
Still, you really do not have a choice. As much as we want time to stand still and give us a little break, it just keeps on rolling. We still have to go to work. We still have to interact with other people. There will be things that we must continue to do. Sometimes that is a load to bear. Other times it can be therapeutic. Fortunately for us, we find the farm and its associated chores to be therapeutic.
So, with that, I will affirm that we are sad. That we miss Spotty more than can be written. And with my reflection on loyal friends, I miss Radley anew. They were both one of a kind, true friends. Our best four-legged friends. We are comforted to have Spotty on watch. And someday, when we are at the farm full-time, Radley will become the farm dog she was meant to be.
To Jordan, who has handled his loss with grace and calm, you loved Spotty well; she knew it and returned the love right back to you. I hope that you won’t be angry that I posted this, I know that grief is a private thing. But such a wonderful girl and love that surrounded her should be a story told. A strong love is such a positive thing. I am lucky to be in the same boat as she.